Saturday, August 02, 2008

Mischief


A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not called in
sick one day.


Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the
employee's home phone and was greeted with a child's whisper.


"Hello?"


"Is your daddy home?" he asked.


"Yes," whispered the small voice.


May I talk to him?"


The child whispered, "No."


Surprised and expecting to talk with an adult, the boss asked,
"Is your Mummy there?"


"Yes."


"May I talk to her?"


Again the small voice whispered, "No."


Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss
asked,
"Is anybody else there?"


"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."


Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss
asked,
"May I speak to the policeman?"


"No, he's busy", whispered the child.


"Busy doing what?"


"Talking to Mummy and Daddy and the Fireman,"
came the whispered answer.


Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter
through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked,
"What is that noise?"


"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.


"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.


Again, whispering, the child answered,
"The search team just landed the hello-copper. "


Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked,
"What are they searching for?"


Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle:
"ME"

To the rescue for rejected applications

This template would be of great use to reply the rejected applications.


Disclaimer: This template is just for those to read once and smile. Not for use. However, the blogger doesn't hold the resposibility for further happenings. :-D




Job rejected?
Next time your application for a job is rejected...


Dear [Interviewer' s Name ]:


Thank you for your letter of [Date of Interview ].


After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your firm. This year I have had been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.


Despite [ Firm's Name ]'s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time. Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation. I look forward to seeing you then.


Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.


Sincerely ,
[Your Name ]

************

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Weather forecast - made easy.


Software upgrade - Girlfriend to Wife



G i rlfriend 5.0 to W i fe 1.0 : )

Dear Tech Support Team:


Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new program, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.
Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,
"A Troubled User"



REPLY:


Dear Troubled User:


This is a very common problem that people complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 , thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!! !
It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.
It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this.
I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.
I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before
the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0


STATUTORY WARNING
: DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortS kirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.


Best of luck,
Tech Support ...