The maximum views my blog managed to get per day is 2 ever since I started blogging! So, is it high time re-thinking the idea of blogging in the air? Hmm... Let's just blame it on a crazy soft corner in the brain for blogging and go ahead with the topic.
The feeling of accomplishment is more influential than the accomplishment itself. For example, Case (1) you sweat a 2 hour workout routine all by yourself on a day. Case(2) You do the same sweating and stuff with the instructor standing next to you saying 'wow' and 'good job' and 'just one more'. I would tend to have more and more of case(2). I go to such an extent that I would pay and have that person for the mere fact that I'm seeing something moving, something re-inforcing what I'm trying to do and something that pushes me constantly to move along.
Independence of thought, words and action has been a choice I made for myself sometime ago. To me, that gives a sense of freedom and mental space to act as per my will. You can argue that 'the personal breathing space for brain' just an illusion.
How interesting would it be to have somebody draw a line, encourage you to cross the line and celebrate with you after the journey? It very tempting to say all that is really as interesting as it sounds, but the tiny mental space I have created for myself complains. I try to convince saying "It's probably alright to give out some space for a sweetheart". But, that bloody corner in the brain is so strong that it goes restless. That silly section in the heart doesn't accommodate anyone easily. It looks to me like a huge, dark and deep hole. I can't confidently stand by the statement "It's meant for someone who deserves". I sometimes feel it's not mine to start with... I don't know who controls it. It responds sometimes and stays numb sometimes. Sometimes, even when I want it to react, it simply doesn't! I really hate it for this behaviour.
I have a speculation (warning: this is mostly influenced by movies, books, etc., though) : let it respond, then I'm going to be a better person and there's no turning back. But I don't know when it happens or how or why. I only know what happens when I try to control and direct it to someone or something, I start losing myself.
That silly section seems to have a clear vision of it's own. Sometimes, it analyses, it questions, it rationalizes and it evaluates. Sometimes, it just accepts. My conscience doesn't pretend it doesn't exist! When it is ignored, I clearly see that there's something out of place. It's crazy! One pattern I saw throughout is it's always pulling me back to reality. Is this reality true? Should I add my imagination to this reality? When I compare myself to this little corner, I look small and powerless.
At 28 years of age, I'm happy to spot the life changing corner in my brain.
I have not accomplished anything!
Will start from ground zero again and again till I do.
Are you trying to tell me I should stop announcing this publicly?
The feeling of accomplishment is more influential than the accomplishment itself. For example, Case (1) you sweat a 2 hour workout routine all by yourself on a day. Case(2) You do the same sweating and stuff with the instructor standing next to you saying 'wow' and 'good job' and 'just one more'. I would tend to have more and more of case(2). I go to such an extent that I would pay and have that person for the mere fact that I'm seeing something moving, something re-inforcing what I'm trying to do and something that pushes me constantly to move along.
Independence of thought, words and action has been a choice I made for myself sometime ago. To me, that gives a sense of freedom and mental space to act as per my will. You can argue that 'the personal breathing space for brain' just an illusion.
How interesting would it be to have somebody draw a line, encourage you to cross the line and celebrate with you after the journey? It very tempting to say all that is really as interesting as it sounds, but the tiny mental space I have created for myself complains. I try to convince saying "It's probably alright to give out some space for a sweetheart". But, that bloody corner in the brain is so strong that it goes restless. That silly section in the heart doesn't accommodate anyone easily. It looks to me like a huge, dark and deep hole. I can't confidently stand by the statement "It's meant for someone who deserves". I sometimes feel it's not mine to start with... I don't know who controls it. It responds sometimes and stays numb sometimes. Sometimes, even when I want it to react, it simply doesn't! I really hate it for this behaviour.
I have a speculation (warning: this is mostly influenced by movies, books, etc., though) : let it respond, then I'm going to be a better person and there's no turning back. But I don't know when it happens or how or why. I only know what happens when I try to control and direct it to someone or something, I start losing myself.
That silly section seems to have a clear vision of it's own. Sometimes, it analyses, it questions, it rationalizes and it evaluates. Sometimes, it just accepts. My conscience doesn't pretend it doesn't exist! When it is ignored, I clearly see that there's something out of place. It's crazy! One pattern I saw throughout is it's always pulling me back to reality. Is this reality true? Should I add my imagination to this reality? When I compare myself to this little corner, I look small and powerless.
At 28 years of age, I'm happy to spot the life changing corner in my brain.
I have not accomplished anything!
Will start from ground zero again and again till I do.
Are you trying to tell me I should stop announcing this publicly?
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