Sardarjis in India are known for their innocence and ignorance. These are some jokes based on Sardars to make us laugh. It is said that sardars go really mad after 12 midnight. ;)
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Question: Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
Answer: Because below 18 was not allowed.
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Question: How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
Answer: Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear
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Question: Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a regular one?
Answer: You have to hollow out the head.
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Question: What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
Answer: You always hear about them but you never see them.
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Question: "Oh, look at the dead bird."
Answer: Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
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Question: Why can't Sardar dial 911?
Answer: They can not find the eleven on the phone
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Question: How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
Answer: It has a stamp on it.
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Question: Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Answer: Toes Go In First.
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Question: Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
Answer: They think their picture is being taken.
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Question: What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
Answer: Just-one Singh ('T' silent!).
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Question: What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
Answer: Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
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Question: What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
Answer: The back of his head.
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Question: What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
Answer: A wind tunnel.
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Question: Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
Answer: they always forget the recipe.
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Question: Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
Answer: So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
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Question: What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
Answer: Trying to hold on to a thought.
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Question: How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Answer: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
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Question: What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Answer: Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
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Question: What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper ? (he already has one and he wants one more..)
Answer: He takes a photcopy of the white paper !!!
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Question: What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies ?
Answer: He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!
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Question: What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
Answer: Pull the pin and throw it back.
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Sardarji is not sleeping with his wife these days
because somebody had told him that it is wrong to sleep with married women....
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Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate "Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid:Chinese." "How come you write" Chinese" when both parents areSikh?" "Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the planet is chinese.
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Best Of The Best:->
Sardar Dhakaan Singh is big hunter. Once he went to a zoo. At that time a big tiger escaped from its cage. The zoo officials sent everyone out of the zoo and closed the main gate. Now the tiger is inside the zoo but wandering freely.
Zoo people requested sardar to go inside and trap the tiger in a cage.Scared but to avoid insult he went into the zoo in his jeep carrying a big gun.
While driving on one of the zoo's roads, he noticed that the tiger is chasing him. Feeling scared he drove the jeep fast but only to observe that the tiger is very near to the jeep.
At that time the road separated into two paths ahead, one to the left and other to the right. Then cleverly dhakkan put the left indicator on and turned the jeep to the road on right. The tiger runs into the left path. With a sigh of relief, he drove forward.
After some time the roads meet and the same situation arises again. once more the road divides into two and this time our sardar is smart enough to put the right indicator on and turned to left. This time the tiger goes into the road on right side.
After some time the roads meet again to our sardar's misfortune and the tiger starts to chase him again. This time the road never divides and our sardar thought the tiger would catch him. Then a brilliant idea struck his mind.
He slows down his jeep taking it to the left corner of the road. Then he held his hand outside and a gives signal which is given for vehicles which want to overtake. The tiger this time overtakes his jeep and runs forward.
NOW TELL ME WHAT IS THE MORAL OF THE STORY??
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MORAL: "There are Sardar Communities in Tigers too".
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Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta singh stood beside the bed, santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died. Banta singh thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket. Days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died. "You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all." He unfolded the note and read aloud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"
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An American, an Italian and a Surdar were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building... They were eating lunch and the American said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building." The Italian opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Pasta again! If I get pasta one more time I'm going to jump off, too." The surd opened his lunch and said, "Paratha and dhal again. If I get paratha and dhal one more time I'm jumping too." Next day - The American opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Italian opens his lunch, sees pasta and jumps too. The Surd opens his lunch, sees paratha and dhal and jumps to his death also... At the funeral..... The American's wife is weeping...She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again! The Italian's wife also weeps and says " I could have given him !
pizza or lasagna! I didn't realize he hated pasta so much." Everyone turned and stared at the Surd's wife... "Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He makes his own lunch!"
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Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh..we'll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?" That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh replied, "No problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we'll automatically get developed." All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old surd did not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy. The surd replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????"
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A patrol car has been following this vehicle for about 30 minutes now, when they finally decide to pull it over. The officer steps out and walks up to the surd's window. "Goodafternoon, sir." "Good afternoon, any problems?" "No sir. My partner and I have been following and observing you for a half an hour now. We ascertained that you have not committed one single traffic violation, you have not gone over the speed limit by even 1 mph, you were courteous towards the fellow drivers on the road. Therefore, as a part of our new "Solid Driving Awareness Program", I would like to present you with this check for $30,000.00."The surd lets out a big sigh of relief:"Oh good! Now I can finally pay to get my driver's license."Awkward silence, then the surd's wife sitting in the passenger seat goes, "Don't listen to him, officer. He always talks nonsense when he has been drinking." Surd's Grandma, who's a little hard of hearing, adds from the backseat, "Aye, aye aye, didn't I tell you no!
t to go in a stolen car?" At this time the surd's trunk pops open and a head peeks out, "Are we over the border yet?"
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Banta Singh went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?" "Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not!" "Oh! How nice it would be ," said Banta with joy,"I have been illiterate for so long."
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Four Sardarji's were waiting on a Railway Platform for the "Punjab Mail". As they were waiting an announcement is made about the train running late by two hours. The train scheduled to start at 10 am will now start at 12 noon. Since there is lots of time to kill the four sardarjis decide to go out into the city to spend the time.
When they get back to the station they see "Punjab Mail" just leaving the platform.So sardarjis start running desperately to board the train.. One of them manages to catch the 6th boggie
Another got almost the last boggie and the other two got left behind. When the two Sardarji 's who managed to get into the train met each other in one of the bogies they started laughing uncontrollably. They go on laughing .....laughing ....and laughing.
Now the other passengers get bit curious and one of them asked The Sardarji's .... "Arre, what's so funny ? Why are you both laughing so madly? One of the Sardarji's managed to reply " Actually the two who were supposed to take this train got left behind......we.... just came to see them off !!!!!!!!!!"
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A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.
The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?"
To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, "Wash Basin".
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A sardarji was working as editor in a daily newspaper. Once he was travelling to Bombay to deliver a speech about railway department improvements. His coach was the last coach in the train.
The train was moving very fast and so sardarji's coach was jerking heavily. This made him not to prepare for the speech. Annoyed by the event, next day in the meeting,
his first point towards improvement of railway department was ""There should not be last coach in any train.""
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Having lost his donkey a Sardarji,got down to his knees and started thanking God.
A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"
The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
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Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train.
He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived.
This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went Home.
Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Said his wife "
What's the matter?"
Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"
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Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?"
Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"
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A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him
"kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai"
Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "
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Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station.
Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this Train to Ludhiana?"
"No," answers the Railway man.
"Can I?" asks Gani Singh.
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Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in Effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T"
2. How many seconds are in a year?
>The Singh thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?" The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd,etc..."
Saint Peter lets him in without another Word.
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Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room. Jasmeet: "What are you searching for? "Santa: "Hidden cameras!" Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here? "Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching the Star World channel’. How does he know that?
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Three men were stranded on an uninhabited island. One was Hindu, one a Muslim, and the other a Singh. The only way back home was to swim 100miles to the next island, which was inhabited. The Muslim was so determined to get home that he tried to swim. He made it 50 miles, got tired, and drowned. Then the Hindu tried. He made it 75 miles, but got tired and drowned, too. The Singh thought he could make it all the way, so he started swimming. He swam 50 miles, but started getting tired, so he swam all the way Back to the island.
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Two Singhs (pilots) try to land an aeroplane in the United States. They start descending and as they touch the ground the pilot screamed, "The runway is ending!” The second pilot swiftly gets the plane back up in the air. They make a big turn and start descending again. The moment they touch the ground, the pilot scream again "Get the plane up, the runaway is ending! The second pilot swiftly gets the plane back up in the air. They make a big turn and start descending again. This goes on again and again. During their fourth descent the pilot says:” Look at those stupid Americans, they build this huge & expensive airport but with such a short runaway", "I know" answers the second pilot, "But look how wide they made it."
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Sardar Banta Singh went to the emergency room with the tip of his Index finger blown off. "How did this happen?" the doctor asked. "Well I was trying to commit suicide," Banta Singh replied. The doctor asked, trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?" "No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs.1,000 to get my teeth straightened. So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger. (There was nothing inside his head so bullet went all the way out of his other ear)
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Double Decker Bus Ride Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double Decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat. But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to see his friend Banta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Oh Banta! What the heck's going' on? Why are you so scared? I was enjoying my ride down there? Scared Banta replies."Yeah, but you've got a driver.
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Once a Singh was traveling in a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train Rs 20/- to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for Rs 20, the Sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Singh fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Singh was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Said his wife "What's the matter?" He replied, "The cheat on the train has taken my Rs 20 and woken up someone else"
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Once there was a train, which was going peacefully on the rail tracks. Suddenly the train deviated from the Tracks went onto the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified. On the next railway station the driver was caught: He was found to be a Singh. He was questioned. He explained that there was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even after blowing the horn, flashing the lights etc. The authorities questioned: Mr. Singh are you mad! Just to save the life of one person you put the lives of so many passengers in danger. You should have run that person over. Singh said: That is exactly what I had decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train got real close.
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Two Singh went into a pub and after ordering two beers took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them." You can't at your own sandwiches in here," complained the pub owner. So the two sardars swapped their sandwiches.
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Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ... and at last I Wrote THUNK!!!"
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Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'.
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