Aaja re... ( imagine a lady in white saree with a candle)

What is it that I'm doing different this year?
I've never asked myself that question before. Ha.. that's different this year!

Coming to our topic:
I've always romanticized meeting the devil. When I was a kid, watching a horror movie meant a sleepless night. By the time, I reached my late teens, I got more and more intrigued by this idea. As years passed by this idea started haunting me. How would I imagine a devil to be? When I explain, you should imagine everything in low light. For example, as if this character is in a room with lights switched off. Depending on the necessity, you can place a light right on the face for a brief amount of time and switch off immediately. You can also flicker or change the colour of light ( red and blue is ok. I wouldn't recommend green. Let's stick to standard HTML colour coding scheme; RGB). The light shouldn't be too bright.

Somehow, it's easier for me to imagine women in this role than men. Men don't scare me so much as women. The girl sitting right opposite to me in the BMTC bus wearing goggles and with a coloured scarf around her nose can easily send a couple of chill currents down my spine especially if the scarf is in darker shades. Don't even think about this whole thing in the night! Burqa-clad women simply fit right into that spot. They needn't try much. No moving and no talking. I'll start sweating even if they don't look at me!

Imagine a woman in black lipstick, black bindi, heavy kajal (only lower eyebrow lining) and red eyes. Wuhuhuhu.... there were a couple of waves from my spine to neck right when I'm typing this. Slender ladies are scarier than their stouter counterparts. How does "long hair falling on just one eye and just half of the forehead and a couple of scars on the visible part of the face" sound? Scars needn't be prominent actually. Skin colour ranging from light to dark grey is good!

Haa... the next specimen would be bushy hair. Very important characteristic is that the hair has to be curled and messy. Blond hair scares me more than the black. I don't know why! For this character especially, I don't need darkness. Even in wide daylight, I can easily run away and hide in a conference room. These devils have to be in sleeveless costumes be it sarees or just tops.  They are simply super duper scary!

Cool devils don't have that disgusting angry expression as if they are about to eat you. They are very friendly and offer help most of the times. Just that they do that exactly when you least expect them. They may pop out of bath tub or from window pane or from an abandoned well or from the basement or from grave yard or simply behind the door as soon as you open - depends on your imagination and experience actually - and say "Are you looking for someone?" or "Please tell me where David is?" or "Why did you leave me here?".
The scariest ones are those who ask for your help!  Imagine you are driving alone in the night and someone shows a thumbs up on the way. I would stop the bike or car, turn around and take another road.

Cool devils don't screech. They just have a blank expression and look somewhere beyond the camera usually.

Abstract devils don't show up completely. You hear howls, tingling bells, leaves flying with the breeze, cracking twigs, crickets, flapping wings, clouds with less-than-half moon (absolutely no stars), freely swinging cradle and things like that. But you don't see them! You only have to feel them when the camera moves abruptly or when the background music goes intense. 

Raanjhanaa and religion ...

It doesn't sound odd at all when movies are out in the media for being censored or banned or attacked by groups. It's an added advantage that the distributors get for the publicity. What took me by surprise is the ridiculousness of the reason for which it is banned in Pakistan!

Why is Raanjhanaa banned? How can a person belonging to a community not marry a person from another community? This is not supported by a government. This is not even a real marriage, it's a movie (let's call it an artistic representation). Are we in the century where governments are democratic, secular and respect individual freedom and rights?

I try to understand religion as a (1) process of self-purification through introspection,  (2) means to attain higher levels of spirituality or (3) simply a belief and submission to a greater power. A religion at a broader level should advocate peace, harmony, equality, inclusion, connection and collaboration. Why does some religious practices ignore and sometimes even oppose practices in the other faith? Is it because the religion itself claims the ultimate wisdom in the scriptures? I would say it is those who try to interpret the scriptures and decide the rules. Christopher Hitchens, a famous author and journalist, in one of the debates on intelligence squared argues that any religion which is monotheistic is aggressive and hence is not tolerant to other religions.

Like John in the movie "Man from the earth" puts it, "Piety is not what lessons bring to people, it's the mistake they bring to the lessons." How does marrying a person from other faith or community tarnish the sanctity of the individual or the community to which they belong? 

Equals : Java inheritance abstraction leak

if(youKnowJavaCoding) 
startReading();
else 
break;


There is a java class Point2D.
int x, y;
Point2D defines equals which says if x values and y values are equal for two classes, then they are equal.
This is how it happens in the java world.

public void boolean equals(Object obj) {
if(!(obj instanceof Point2D)) {
return false;
else 
return this.x == obj.getX() && this.y== obj.getY();
}
}

Another class Point3D extends Point2D.
It can live upto the name but decides to do a different way.

public void boolean equals(Object obj) {
if(!(obj instanceof Point3D)) {
return false;
else 
return super.equals(obj) && this.z == obj.get(Z);
}
}
 
This breaks symmetry
Point2D says (1,2) is equal to (1,2,3)
Point3D says "No".

We tell Point3D to be the dragon warrior (or the man of steel) and find his parents.

public void boolean equals(Object obj) {
if(!(obj instanceof Point2D)) {
return false;
else if(!(obj instanceof Point3D)) {
return false;
else 
return super.equals(obj) && this.z == obj.getZ();
}
}

obj.getZ() doesn't work for Point2D.

Point3D still doesn't think (1,2,0) is equal to (1,2)

We cannot rely on simply letting super class handle the comparison, correct? 

Programmer(fuming) : Let the hell break loose, all Point3Ds are Point2Ds. Simply return super.equals(obj) , for all Point3Ds also. Sounds great! 

But, wait!

(1,2) equals (1,2, 1) and (1,2,-1). Aren't we being rude to transitivity here, honey?  

We can have another method in Point3D which says canEqual(Object obj) or few if clauses in the equals method which say if your z is 0, you can compare the Point2D and Point3D. Don't even think about it otherwise!

We have to sometimes come out of the abstraction to see the solution. 

Smitten

What matters the most to you hits you again and again and you would love to take it because you know there is no escape.

So, we were listening to the song 'Bangaru Konda' from a movie Simha in Telugu and started discussing which beat it is in.

Is it 6?

If you count in this pattern...

Pattern I : dha - dhin - na | ta -  dhin - na || 

(The way we do this is, wherever there is this sound - dha, dhin, tirkit, ta, tin, etc - we count 1. So, there are 6 as we see. I hope you noticed the hyphens there. Let them be there, we will get back. )

Is it 8?

Pattern II : dha - dhin - - | tha - dhin - - | dha - dhin - - | ta - dhin - - ||  

It's very interesting here. How should we decide the cycle. When should we end the count and put '||' ?

Every composition has a set of notes, which follow rhythm. Rhythm or Taalam is a constantly repeating cycle of sounds throughout the composition. The composer sets the notes as per this pattern to create the effect. There are different ways in which we can identify this pattern. That's the beauty of music.

We can catch this pattern from stresses the rhythm instrumentalist (drummer or tabla player). This is my favorite way because we can easily see what the drummer is showing, for example a tabla/mridangam/ghatam/kanjeera player looks at others - typically the vocalist or violonist or a sitar player - and shares an assuring smile. It's very evident in case of tabla/mridangam players as they have a signature nod for 'sam' or 'samam'. Some of them animate this a lot. They look at audience and nod as if they are telling us 'Wah! Kya kamaal hai! Main kabhi socha nahi ki yeh sam pe ho jayegi...' (What a surprise! I never thought we will make it to the 'sam' on time ;)). Big flirts, I tell you!

We can also listen to lyrics and see where each phrase is logically breaking like we read a poem. If we take this song, we can break like this,

Ban | garu | kon | da || 
Maru | malle | dan | da || 

Or we can also recognize the underlying notes and their average spacing ( Warning: This is very tricky as the notes are repeated or elongated in many cases. Not that the other 2 methods are easy. This is my weak area. Am working on it ).

Coming back to our song at hand,
It is not 6 because, in pattern I, there is one beat between dha and dhin, dhin and na but is it missing between na and ta. Notice the poor hyphens we left on the middle of the road?  Those hyphens also consume a beat (or a matra as we affectionately call in Hindustani) each. So, if it had been 6 - dadra - it should actually have been

dha dhin na | ta dhin na || 
(no spaces)

OR

dha - dhin - na - | ta - dhin - na - || 
(all beats have spaces)

Similarly, we can break down pattern II. One more mismatch in 8 beat is that the cycle repeats after 2 lines of the song. We may also be tricked into thinking it's double the tempo.

I am convinced that this rythm is 10 beat. That is

Pattern III : | dhi na | dhi dhi na | ti na | dhi dhi na ||  

On a similar beat, let me also refer to some other examples

• Kalaganti kalaganti - Telugu - Annamayya (Movie)
• Tagara srirama namamrutham - Telugu - Sri Ramadasu (Movie)
• Aansu Bhari Hai - Hindi - Parvarish (Movie)

Listening to MJ's "Beat it!" It's 8 beat, btw.
In the drum kit, high hat cymbal - the two plate stand with a pedal - is a best indicator of tempo. I increase the treble and keenly listen to this to find out what's going on there.

Addicted...

Human beings are too used to the self-image - highly polished, garnished, cured and tended. Sometimes crafted and grafted. Everyone has a unique way of understanding it and projecting it. When I talk to people around and people say things about me, my projection of myself refines. It shrinks when I do something wrong and bloats when I get a praise. It stays in equilibrium if we are in control. Blows up when happy and punctures when sad.

What happens to us sometimes when we lose control is an obsession with the picture of self, repeated switching thoughts and a sense of irreparable loss. It is at this point of time that we reset our image and start afresh. But what we notice here is our addiction and indulgence with ourselves that it almost becomes impossible to think out of the box. This is when I experienced and decided to define addiction. It's not something you want to have repeatedly or something you can't take your mind off. It's simply the inability or sometimes arrogance to not look beyond the life at present. It - probably - is a mixture of egoism, carelessness, immaturity and adamancy. Like with many other things in life, we have to start from acknowledging that we are prone to it. And fight it every moment with might! There are no short cuts.

I want to log one of the learnings from my childhood. They say there are 6 vices called Kama, Krodha, Lobha, Moha, Mada and Matsarya which lead to addiction. How true! Formulas don't always work in real life but understanding and applying do...

       

B for building

"Getting the basics right" has become a cliche'.

We always dream of doing big things, better things and being successful. I'll not get into the success part. That's very subjective. The big thing can be "I want to code well" or "I want to capture good photographs". If we want to achieve this big thing, we should start identifying small steps in that direction. 

How do we identify the steps? I think we have to start asking uncomfortable questions. Being the most annoying trouble-maker, I come up with all sorts of weird questions. I typically start with the most obvious and basic ones like "Why are my pictures so bad?" "How do you say a program runs well?" Now, here's the trick! Anybody can ask questions. Even those who don't know anything about the big thing. These questions have to lead us in some form to the big thing. There has to be a consistent connection. I know, it sounds so simple when I'm writing this down here. The steps have to be the answers to those questions. We have to see the answers as we go along and have to be convinced that this is the path we should take.

Once on path, it's time now to put some milestones. Fix them there! And mark them on the calendar. This is really important. If we are not giving time-lines, we are not serious about the targets. If the steps are going well, increase them by quantity without compromising on quality. 

  

The journey to get at what we want to do requires focus, patience, perseverance and restlessness also ;) at the same time. In my experience so far, planning is one thing. Execution, evaluation and course correction also have to be fit into the cycle somewhere. Only then would the journey be complete.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? What about recreation & celebration?

Why the hell are weekends for?

(Sunday Gyaan)

(Short story - 1) Journey

[First attempt at writing a short story ... tell me how it is! Used first person to ease narration.]

The blue bus rattled into KBS and jerked to halt. I heavily pulled my bag and jumped down. Half-hearted to get back to hectic coaching class routine. Some dreams are hard to pursue. I apparently have not thought about these classes when I saw a the most prestigious civilian title after my name in the dream that mattered. I have not realised that dream yet. Let's just say that I agree with my dad now. Nothing in this world comes for free.

It's a 2 min walk to the KSRTC bus station. While thinking if it's safe to try the restaurant in the corner, went through the small passage through which numerous travellers negotiate to get to the majestic bus station. An Audi A8L honked from my back. An elderly gentleman got out with a neatly ironed cotton shirt and a white dhoti. He had a heavy book in one hand. I only saw a brown thick and hard cover. What really caught my attention is not his side of the car but the other. She quickly moved out of the car as if somebody was pushing her out, ran to the other side, gave him a hug towards his book-free hand, while he's still giving instructions in Kannada on sleeping well, eating well, etc., grabbed her bag and darted away. She was slender, had curls of light (and selective) coloured hair in the front falling on the face. Every move she made seemed to be as if she's trying to push them away from her glances but the ends just didn't seem to go away. The curls flew and landed back soft on the cheeks. She had a cute pony tail which moved faster than her walk. Her eyes moved even faster. She had the jeans folded a couple of times at the bottom. The white earphone set with one dangling out and one in place also set me off guessing if she was listening to some foot tapping number. She must have been 3 inches shorter, the stilettos didn't give out a hint.

Inter-city bus station was swarming with passengers eagerly waiting to get into the A/C buses on a warmer sunday evening . I had my dinner. It's unusual that one gets to find the bus on the platform in time. The middle row aisle on the left side was just perfect for the journeys in the night as I had to do my staring at the dark contours of villages dotted with street lights wooshing by in the night. The man in white ticked off my seat on his sheet. He also gave suspicious glances at my PAN card and my face a couple of times and went down. She came a little slower now with her back pack and cast a quick glance at my seat almost as if I'm not there and went back fast. It's not uncommon in these buses that the ladies start shouting at the man in white for letting a moron (read 'man') sit next to them. I sensed the argument coming and prepared to relocate to a more secure seat in the vicinity.

She now comes back with a leather purse and pulled a book out of it and sat right next to me. We exchanged uncomfortable smiles.
"I almost had my stuff ready thinking you would ask me to find some other place."
(Smiles) "You could still do it if you plan to. The aisle two rows ahead is mine. There's a lady who wanted to exchange hers with mine as she's travelling with her kid and husband."
"I'm absolutely fine here! Please take this seat."

The bus started moving and so did she. Her wriggling in the seat started making me wonder if I'm taking more space. The non-stop buses with 2 left - 3 in the right seat configuration always made me feel XXL. I immediately pulled the hand rest down to make sure fences are in place. She gave a quick frown and said it feels a little stuffed in there. My vast experience in the buses plying en route involuntarily pointed me to the A/C vent which is twisted to the extreme left. The smile got warmer. I thought hard if I should bring another topic up and continue the conversation. I can never be anybody but myself. Simply put my headphones bought from eBay.in and started humming an old hindi song.
"That's one of my all time favorites! Do you enjoy old songs?"
"There's nothing I enjoy more!"
"Do you mind if I check your playlist?"
( Cursing myself for not having a good earphone, one end of which I could have offered while I still can listen and let her also listen along with me. I thus noticed the only limitation of my most favorite Sennheiser headset. )
"Sure."
She thanked and showed some of those songs on her white phone (you-know-what!).

In the meantime, we had started talking about our purposes of visit to Bangalore. She went on about the current job scenario in IT industry and macroeconomics till I yawned. I made sure I returned my favour, harping about political situation and my close-to-heart practical issues in the public administration. She beat me here and was already sleeping by the time I concluded with conserving the environment. I simply laughed at myself for overestimating my ability to engage people in interesting conversations. Switched the channel on thoughts and hummed an old telugu song this time like I always do when I'm alone. Took the liberty of setting her blanket right till the neck. Sensing the move, she smugly pulled it closer and whispered that she loved that song too. Wondering what the book in her hand was and if she actually knew the song I was humming, I took my specs off and slid my seat down.

Morning came very fast, I didn't want to step out of the seat. In no time, we could hear auto annas calling out their bids on the fares. Just when she stepped out of the seat and pulled her purse from the luggage rack on top. She wished good luck with preparations and I wished her back. She seemed half-minded about saying something but stopped. By this time, I was quickly rehearsing different ways of getting her contact. I managed to say something about facebook. I saw her expression mildy let out am impatient grunt and successfully managed to hide it under a tired expression. While she slowly moved away from her seat without wishing bye, I wanted to kick myself.